Passion ~thoughts in process~

Our souls crave more than indifference;
Lies of unresponsive, uninteresting, impassive life is what we use to fill the void.
This very foundation hosts a desire for anything.
Thus capturing many in a world filed with monotony; 
                                        in a world of colorless mistakes and mishaps; 
                                             in a world of thick bars and chaotic dullness.

Often it is questioned why;
                          Why this world of monotony,
                                 Why this world full of cravings,
                                       Why this world full of such strong indifference…

Because once people cared,
People sought what they desired so dearly,
And they found it with passion.

And that’s the key…

The key to anything which we desire.
                                                  to love,
                                                   to life,
                                                  to faith,
                                              to happiness.

God filled our hearts with the longing of this passion.
And passion is what our souls crave so profoundly.
Passion is what brings out the light inside of people, 

However, it is that very passion that also has the power to destroys people, 
So when it is asked “why?”
It is due to the risks towering in the sky.

Passion has the power to change your entire being, allowing something more to be created that is much more beautiful, powerful, and captivating than anyone could ever imagine…

I can feel what seems like all this potential energy,

circling around, constricting my chest; 

quickening my pulse and shortening my breaths.

Yet at the same time I can feel it slowly start to slip away.

And a great sadness covers what once promisingly flickered as it turned into nothingness.

I am the girl that is afraid of nothing, except maybe getting kidnapped

But I am the girl who is afraid of losing everything

Everything being everyone whom I love truly

So is it easier for me to just push them all away…

I don’t know what it is,

How everyday I can just stand there and openly lie to myself about the slightest of feelings I have towards someone, towards anyone.
Anything more than small talk and a hi and my guard shoots up, creating this cinderblock wall that I hide behind that no one ever seems to notice. 

As for some, they know. 
They know how I hide, even though they may not understand or see how complex and seemingly indestructible my wall is, its ok, I mean at least they know.

Maybe it was good in a way that someone knows, and even though it isn’t really knowing, but assuming, I still…can accept it..